Homesick, in more than one way...

After getting home tonight from rafting on the Nile River today, I got on the computer to check my email. In my email, I have a list of many different blogs of people I know, which update whenever they add a new blog.

And that's when I found out.

I read my sister's latest blog and learned that my grandfather had passed away. Then I got on Skype and sure enough I had voicemails from my mom and sister telling me the news. I knew that this was coming, and in the recent weeks since my time here, I just have felt in my heart that I wasn't going to be seeing Papaw when I got back home, maybe even from the moment I saw him in the hospital on July 30, the day before I left for Tanzania, when he told me he loved me and was proud of me as tears were filling his eyes (and mine).  Maybe this was God's way of preparing me for what was to come. This is the first grandparent to leave my sisters and I, and being so far from home makes it difficult for me to really grasp. I don't think it will really seem palpable or real until I get home in December and he's not there...

Despite the loss in our lives, today was a wonderful day. God is still God, and the victory is still His. I can only think of the things that I saw today, the beauty of God in the nature of Africa, and I wonder what I was looking at during the exact time that Papaw went to be with the Lord. This morning I saw my first sunrise since being here, and it was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. It was truly breathtaking. I saw more than 20 miles of the Nile River, experienced the fury of powerful rapids. I saw the bluest sky and the whitest clouds, so amazing and somehow different than any I have ever seen. All these things created by the God of the universe, and now my Papaw is in His presence worshipping Him. No more frail body or bruised bones, no aching or hurting. A new creation made for an eternity of being in the presence of and worshipping the Almighty God.

I wish that I could be at home with the rest of my family during this time, but I know that God has called me to be here serving Him. Just as Matthew 10:37-39 says, I must continue to take up my cross and follow Christ. I must realize that there is still work to be done here, all over this earth, that there is still a race to run (Hebrews 12:1-2). Even though I feel homesick more than ever, missing Papaw and friends and family back home, I can look forward to a day when I will be back home, and the day when I will truly be home with Christ, just as Papaw is. May we strive to live for Christ, spreading His name and renown wherever He takes us, that the words of 2 Timothy 4:6-8 might be true to our lives when God calls us home.

"Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And whoever does not take up his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it."    Matthew 10:37-39 (ESV)

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God."    Hebrews 12:1-2

"For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure has come. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Henceforth is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that Day, and not only to me but also to al who have loved his appearing."    2 Timothy 4:6-8 (ESV)


"Homesick" by MercyMe

You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times
And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you
But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry
Is how long must I wait to be with you

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

Help me, Lord, cause I don't understand your ways
The reason why, I wonder if I'll ever know
But even if you showed me the hurt would be the same
Cause I'm still here so far away from home

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

In Christ there are no goodbyes
And in Christ there is no end
So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have
To see you again
To see you again

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

I've never been more homesick than now

In loving memory of

THOMAS "JACK" HOWARD SHELTON, SR.

Husband, father, and Papaw

September 2, 1921 - September 26, 2008